Monday, July 1, 2013

Holy July!

July has come...and it's reaching the peak of the anniversary of my turning my life upside down. It's hard to believe, even imagine that a full year is coming to head. My co-worker and I stopped at The Courtyard last night to have a beer-he still says he's amazed as to how everything turned out for me. In terms of my coping with divorce, dealing with a new relationship, and finding my so-called center of gravity. It's still an uneasy feeling, I'm not sure I'd say I feel very centered at all.

It's amazing to step back-June of last year I bought my first bike, and subsequently started on my own adventures. My co-worker said I had a lot of nervous energy-that's what the biking in the morning helped with. Rather than spending money on therapy, I spent money on a bike...and felt a bit of freedom almost every morning.

This year has been my first time to bike all summer, and with that, the discovery of exercise induced asthma (Joy!) and the fact that allergies this year are brutal.

Things with Bill and I continue to be ok. Cat visits have dwindled down to maybe once a month or so; and he seems to have accepted that we've both moved on. Honestly, I think it was something he had wanted to do for a long time, but there are probably many reasons why it never happened. I'm thankful every day that we were able to do it like adults, as people who had been friends for many years. At least we didn't have to tear each other down and apart.

Things with Travis and I of course, have our ups and downs-no relationship is without challenges that provide growth. It's actually scary at times, because I've come from such a one-sided's different to deal with someone that as unhappy as they are to hear something-are willing to work with you on it. It's a relief to be able to be open and talk. There is much that I'm experiencing with this relationship I wasn't able to experience with Bill. It's nice that even tho I sometimes feel a little insecure (knowing those are based in my head on previous experiences) I'm slowly uncurling my fingers from around that pole of fear. In all honesty, I feel very secure. It's nice to be able to be open, and actually make known my wants and needs-and actually have something given vs. not. I don't feel bad asking for a hug when I'm feeling shaky-and I won't be reprimanded for how I'm feeling.

The kitties are all well and dandy, the benefit of living on my own is that I can decide if there is a.c. or not. So far there is not. I've had a few days where I felt uncomfortable (slightly) but not dying by any means. The kitties are enjoying the ample window space and the sun beams! Cordie is pretty darn cuddly nowadays, Figaro is always the perpetual "mama's boy" and was curled up against me in a very precious way. Phoebe is very excited over the birds-and will often chatter away at them...or go on bug patrol.

This 4th of July weekend I'll be seeing fireworks for the first time in years. I'll admit, I'm pretty excited!

Overall, life is good-busy with work, finding time to spend with Travis, and brushing my cats constantly-boy is this the year of shedding!

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