I decided

I needed some fresher looking undies and a couple new (but inexpensive, and non-pushy-uppy) bras.

This was my third time, total, going to "the store that does stuff"...and I'm ashamed of it.

I got home, and realized that I had one less pack of undies than I had on my receipt.
Called "the store that does stuff" and talked to a person...found the rouge package of undies.

I had my friend who was going to go out and eat sushi with me, come along to fetch the misfit undies. More so they wouldn't put them back.

The lady (older lady at that) was all like "OH! You're Josie! Here is your package of no-line panties!"
In front of said friend. (she probably thought he was a partner/boyfriend/spouse)

I was red as hell.

Then decided, that we should've came up with a game plan. He could've been my bouncer-friend and have him order in his scary "I'm going to eat you alive" voice "Give me Josie's panties".

Yup.
Life sure is interesting.