Thursday, September 20, 2012
Ups and downs
Sitting back and reflecting on the decisions that were made. I also have come to the realization that I really can't believe one of the things that Bill told me-that he joined a dating site just because 2 guys he knew had profiles. He was being charged for full services-you have to put in BILLING information in order to be CHARGED.
I was so fucking stupid to believe him.
I didn't want to believe otherwise. That was my choice and mine alone. I chose to believe him, because at the time I wasn't strong or brave enough to go on otherwise.
How much growing up I've done over the years.
It's not easy to acknowledge and accept some of the decisions I made in the past. However, I was not at a point to make them differently.
I had to learn more about what I wanted and needed out of myself, and out of life.
I'm still grasping that.
I pushed myself on my bike ride today, the wind was strong, but I decided "hey, it'll be better when I turn around and head back home" plus, I had an entire chocolate bar yesterday. Also, the fact my day started off well, and a friend and I are going to go to a concert in November (to see Fun.)
I went, I got to my usual turn around point, and then I realized I frickn' lied to myself. The ride back was just as hard, if not harder!
My birthday is creeping up...my neighbor/friend, Gaby and I are planning a shingdig. It'll be great! Good times with good friends, some adult beverages and scavenger hunting (along with a fake mustache)