Thursday, February 23, 2012
Hours are inching
Hours are also inching ever closer to the first ever HSNEI Cat Adoption Day!
I got the string/feather cat toys finished...I've chosen a few of mine to share (some balls n' stuff) and what else? I need to finish printing some stuff off...and I'm set.
I got a notice in the mail about my insurance premium going up....373 to over 400 dollars....a 40 some dollar add-on. I really hate how we HAVE to have health insurance, but we're basically gutted for it (too). I can go up a deductible limit...I'm at 1,700 right now....the next is 3,300....less than the 5,000 deductible that my husband and I had at one point.
Also, the plan we are on covers pregnancy. Even if it doesn't have complications. If I went to the silver plan, it would only cover complications.
If Bill and I knew we weren't having kids...it wouldn't be such a big deal. If we have kids and I have a 3,300 deductible, I'll for sure have to pay that. If I had 1,700...that's a lot less to pay.
It's really a no-win situation. I emailed my rep to ask him his thoughts, if I do not get an email from him I will call him tomorrow and ask him. I just want an opinion of some kind.
Really, I should just get my tubes tied. I really feel I have no business having a kid...there is a lot in my genetics I do NOT want to pass on. I also do not feel I can comfortably have a child without a backlash of psychological distress on my part. I still have body issues...I still worry about getting fat. I don't want to change so completely and then lay blame on an innocent being.
I also just feel it's pretty pointless for me to knowingly have a child when I could help a child who needs a family.
Just Bill doesn't feel the same...and basically would rather not have children at all than adopt.
Then I think about my Grandma Gert and my Grandma Smith;both whom had kids to take care of them...get their groceries...help them get to the dr.
What will happen to me if I DON'T have human kids? Who is going to take care of me?
I know it's very stupid to worry about such things...but I'm going against the grain....the only person in my family who has adopted is my aunt Lorraine. She couldn't have kids, she and my uncle adopted my two cousins....but she has kids. Not one person in my family (aside from a few male cousins on my dad's side and a female cousin on my mum's side) doesn't have at least ONE kid.
Oh what to do.