Saturday, March 12, 2011

It is time

I will write more about this tonight or so.

Bill and I decided that it is time to say good-bye to Bella Mae. Over the past 24 hours her quality of life dropped from oh, maybe the low 80's into the 20's. She has drank a little water, but she hasn't eaten. No appetite, no vomiting...has used the litter like a good girl. She's increasingly weaker in her hind legs. She hardly made her perch jump.

I know it is time.

My heart is burning and ripped in two pieces; but it is time.

I know it is time, and had a feeling it was time because of her being in the cat tree and her perch. Things she owned early-on.

I knew it was time when I saw Bella Mae and Cordelia Joy in the cat tree together.

Cordelia Joy has been very kind to her sister; she hasn't bothered her like she usually does for over 24 hours. She laid in bed with her last night too, or watched the bathroom door.

I wrote a poem this morning; but will post it later.

10:15 a.m. is when the process will start.
I'm drinking lukewarm coffee and eating chocolate cake.

This is for the best...I want her to have dignity. Also, Bill is home and actually got to/will get to say good-bye to her. I know it plagued him-the idea of him being gone when she decided to pass.

It is bitter sweet for us to be together for this.

Still keeping plans for my day-Cordelia Joy deserves a good birthday.
Also, I'll have to work tomorrow...you do not get time off time for 'animals'.

5 comments:

  1. (((Josie))) There aren't words, there just aren't. Just please know I'm sending you Light and love and wishing you and Bella Mae Peace. I never really believed a person would *know*, and perhaps you don't always, but certainly with Annie I did, no question whatsoever. Know that you have given Bella so much love, a wonderful forever home, and you have given her the final gift of passing with dignity, an end to suffering and pain.

    Blessings and Peace.

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  2. I am so sorry of your loss of your sweet furbaby.

    Will keep you in our purrs and purrayers.

    xoxoxx
    purrs
    Abby

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  3. There are never the right words at a time like this, none that can ease the pain of loss. It is a goodness that Bella Mae had someone who loved her enough to do what is right by her. May her pain and suffering end as she passes over the bridge. The memories of love, companionship, and of a life shared will endure. Our hearts, prayers, and purrs are with you both.

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  4. Many thanks from the bottom of my heart for the kind words. (((hugs)))

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  5. Came over from Kea's blog. I know how hard it is to let them go but you do know when it is time. Sending lots of soft purrs of sympathy.

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